By Leslie Kimbell
Directed by Jeanna Vickery
Comedy
January 16-31, 2026
Ages 13+

Retired burlesque queen Beatrice Shelton desperately needs a vacation – and NOT another trip up to Helen, Georgia to see that “precious little German village for the umpteenth time.” A Sassy Seniors Cruise through the Caribbean may be just the ticket if she can just convince her best friend, Eaddy Mae Clayton, to stop praying and go with her. Unfortunately, things have not been very pleasant at Magnolia Place Assisted Living since Nurse Pat Jones began working there. The newest resident, Imogene Fletcher, is suddenly losing her memory. Maude Jenkins is obsessed with her favorite soap opera and planning her own funeral. Sam Smith, retired Elvis impersonator, keeps trying to bed every woman in the building. A mystery unfolds with laughter as the gals try to outsmart the evil Nurse Pat Jones and figure out why so many residents have been moved to “the dark side,” what exactly IS that mysterious pill, and what happened to Doctor Head? Hilarity ensues as Imogene goes undercover and Maude enters the Miss Magnolia Senior Citizen Pageant to throw Pat off their trail. If they can solve the mystery, they may make it to the cruise ship after all.

Please note: This play contains material that some might find offensive. Several characters say “God.” Beatrice says things like bitch, tits, ass, and assholes, while Eaddy says shit (but is instantly remorseful). Please read the whole script to ensure you are comfortable doing what is required of the character for which you are auditioning. We will not alter the script for your comfort.

Auditions:

Saturday September 27th, 11am – 4pm in Boise Little Theater’s Black Box
Sunday, September 28th, 11am – 4pm in Boise Little Theater’s Black Box
Saturday, October 4, 11am – 4pm in Boise Little Theater’s Lobby
Sunday, October 5, 11m – 4pm in Boise Little Theater’s Black Box (May just be callbacks, please plan to attend previous dates if at all possible.)

Audition Sign Ups Coming Soon!

Detailed Play Information
Detailed Audition Info HERE!

Character Descriptions

None of these characters require a specific race. People of color are encouraged to audition. Genders and ages listed should be how you present. The characterizations below are provided by the author (thus required by copyright).

Beatrice Shelton – former burlesque star with an attitude. Senior Citizen. Eaddy’s best friend. Bright blonde hair, stretch pants, flashy top, heavy makeup, large false eyelashes, and an abundance of jewelry.

Eaddy Mae Clayton – Pronounced “Eee-Dee.” Former nurse and “religious” lady. Senior Citizen. Beatrice’s best friend. Stylish gray hair, casual, age-appropriate clothing.

Imogene Fletcher – The newest resident at Magnolia Place. Senior Citizen. Stylish, wears a conservative pantsuit. Pulls a portable oxygen tank and wears the attached cannula with a long hose.

Pat Jones – rude and pushy nurse. Forties. She is the villain. Starched white dress with pockets, nurse cap, white stockings, white nursing shoes.

Maude Jenkins – funeral and soap-opera-obsessed frump. Senior Citizen. Frumpy house dress, orthopedic loafers, mismatched socks, large, thick sunglasses. Her gray hair is a mess.

Sam Smith – retired Elvis impersonator and Casanova. Senior Citizen. Polyester leisure suit, unbuttoned shirt, white patent loafers, several gold chains, gold Elvis-style sunglasses.

Ruby Sue Bennett – quiet, romance-novel-loving nurse. Thirties. Traditional nurse scrubs.